A man brings his best buddy home for dinner…unannounced at 7:30 pm after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens. Wife: “My hair…

My daughter just phoned me and the conversation went like this!.. Her: “You know that Gladiator movie that I got you?” Me: “Yeah. “Her: “Wind it forward one hour, 16…

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what…

The teacher asked the students to identify an animal whose name starts with the letter “K”. Carl raised his hand and answered, “Kangaroo!” “Very well”, the teacher said. “What animal’s…

I was in in the public restroom, I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall: “Hi, how are you?” Me: (embarrassed) “Doin’ fine! “Stall:…

Mike: Hey buddy, what’s wrong? Paddy: Just had a big fight with the wife. That woman fights for no frickin’ reason at all. Mike: Why? What happened? Paddy: We were…

A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of boots she loves. The husband says, “No chance love, they’re way too expensive. “Later on in bed,…

My wife’s mother visited us. We were all in the sitting room chatting. My wife felt like having sx but couldn’t tell me directly so she stood up and pretended…

HUSBAND: My dear, its like the light in the toilet is now automatic’ WIFE: What happened? HUSBAND: When I open the door the light came on and after I urinated…

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, “I almost had an affair with another woman. “The priest said, “What do you mean, almost? “The Irishman…