When it comes to finances, relationships can go through a lot of challenges. This fact is true especially when one partner earns more than the other. When there is an understanding between partners about boundaries and financial plans, a lot of arguments can be avoided. Clear communications and goal planning can also help. However, the internet is filled with stories of couples who end up facing problems anyway, and one woman turned to Reddit for advice about her situation.
The original poster (OP) asked the users of the popular social media platform if her decision to leave her boyfriend’s name out of the contract for a home she bought was the right thing to do. Her post from December 2021 got a lot of attention, and most people were on her side as she described her situation.
She wrote in her post that she earns quite well and that she has been with her boyfriend for four years in total. Her boyfriend, on the other hand, was not ambitious and did not earn on the same level as her because he kept opting for minimum wage jobs that he would change frequently.The OP’s main concern was that putting her boyfriend’s name on the home’s contract would lead to complications in the future as he was not as financially successful as she was. Moreover, the OP paid for everything, and her boyfriend did not contribute. Though these were valid reasons, her boyfriend ended up becoming furious that he would not be included in the contract and stopped speaking to the OP.
In her post, the OP wrote, “I (22F) and my bf (25M) have been together for about 4 years. We started living together 2 years ago in an apartment and it’s been great!” She also added information about their financial statuses, “I recently got a new job and make around $80k a year and have been wanting to get out of our apartment and into a house. My bf on the other hand doesn’t have a very good work ethic and has had about 8 different jobs in the 4 years we have been together, all making minimum wage.”
Since they were doing well enough, the OP brought up wanting to buy a house and her boyfriend was on board with the idea. The OP wrote, “I have enough in my savings for a down payment and to cover all the closing cost but my boyfriend doesn’t have any saving and lives paycheck to paycheck.” The OP also told readers that while the couple split the rent evenly, she picks up more expenses than him, but that it wasn’t a problem because “I make more than him and he’s never complained.”
When it came time to buy the house, the OP looked for options that would be affordable for her to pay for it alone “o we could use his earrings as extra cash. But we agreed to split the mortgage 50/50 (which would be cheaper than our current rent) and I would pay the water, electric, home insurance, etc.”
After they found their dream house, the OP explained that “I mentioned to him that I would like to be the only name on the home since we are buying it with my savings and we aren’t married and don’t plan to be married anytime soon.”
This did not sit well with the OP’s boyfriend as he expected that it would be their home together, to which OP responded, “I’ve told him that it is OUR house but legally it will just me mine bc I don’t want to put $400k on the line. He said that if it’s just going to be my house that he shouldn’t have to pay to live there.” The OP’s boyfriend also no longer wanted to speak to her as she was angry.One of the top comments supporting the OP stated, “Any lawyer or fiduciary would say this would be a very dumb move with huge risk to you. OP, if/when you get married, then you can talk to attorneys and figure out how he can buy into the house in a way that takes his previous rent payments into account. I get that he’s upset he won’t have any equity, but that can come later.”
Another commenter added, “Your money, your house. What if you break up? He could force you to sell and give you half, I think. He doesn’t put any money in, so he doesn’t get ownership. Stand your ground on this and protect yourself.”
Most people who read her post told OP that she was certainly doing the right thing and that her boyfriend was expecting too much without paying anything for their home. Some people even went as far as pointing out the red flags of his behavior and encouraged the OP to reevaluate whether she wanted to continue her relationship with the man.