Tommy went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of West Virginia. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, Tommy’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. Looking at his breakfast, Tommy noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather, “Are these plates clean?”

His grandfather replied, “They’re as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Tommy!” For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, Tommy was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, “Are you sure these plates are clean?”

Without looking up the old man said, “I told you before, Tommy, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don’t you fret, I don’t want to hear another word about it!”

Later that afternoon, Tommy was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass. Tommy yelled and said, “Grandpa, your dog won’t let me get to my car.”

Without diverting his attention from the sports paper he was reading, the old man shouted, “Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!!!”