rectal thermometer

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone.” Immediately, the husband drove down town to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him, “Just a minute, listen to my side of it.

This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I’d locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.”

“Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire.” “When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing.”

He continued, “Then I had to break a roll of coins against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins and the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke.”

“Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.” “Believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.”

Related Posts

Bruce Willis in an homage

From bodyguard to bouncer to actor, his path was unusual. A casting director launched him into the spotlight. Duncan’s 1998 Hollywood debut in “Armageddon” led to his…

An Young Lady Settled Down In Her Local Train Seat

After a tiring day, a young lady settled down in her local train seat and closed her eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the…

A man is in bêd with his wife and…

He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s 3:30 in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls…

Moral Story Student Learns Of a Greed

A student asked his teacher, “What is Greed?” The teacher said, “In order to answer your question, go through the chocolate factory next to our school and…

Story – Wallace walked

Wallace walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady cashier called out to him and said, “Your barracks door is open.” Not a phrase that…

Blueberry Hill (Funny Joke)

A kid walks into a class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks the teacher asks, “Where have you been?” The boy says, “On top of blueberry…