Wife: honey can you plz help me cleaning the garden. Husband: do I look like a gardener? Wife: Ooh sorry honey, OK then fix the bathroom door. Husband: do I look like a carpenter?

Then husband walks out, after coming back from were he went, he found the garden cleaned and the door fixed. Husband: I knew my wife will do this all by herself….! Wife: no its not me. Husband: who then! Wife: our neighbor
Husband: you paid him how much? Wife: No, he just gave me two options, bread or s*x…. Husband: I hope u gave him bread Wife: do I look like a bakery!!!!