So after a brief chat i went to go pick her up. I wasn’t expecting much, probably 300 lbs with bad skin, but hey, I was so desperate it was this or join an incel chatroom. I walked up to the door and lo and behold, 5’2″, baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde hair, all the right curves in all the right places. I couldn’t believe my luck. I asked her what she did for a living. She said she taught sunday school. Now I never had me a Christian girl, but I’m open minded so I took her to dinner.

On the way, I lit a joint and asked her if she puffs. “Oh heaven’s no, what would I tell my Sunday school children.” I said okay, weed’s 50/50 some people do some people don’t. And I took her to the best restaurant I knew. I ordered the steak, she ordered the lobster. I asked for the second most expensive bottle of wine on the menu. When the waitress came to pour, She said she didn’t drink. I said “you don’t drink?!?” “Oh heaven’s no, what would I tell my Sunday school children.” Excellent food, sparkling conversation but i’m bummed out, I don’t know what to do with a girl like this. So I’m driving her home and pass a cheap motel, I figure, what have I got to lose. So i ask: “wanna get a room and knock boots?” She says: I thought you’d never ask! I say: Really? What are you gonna tell your Sunday school children? She says: The same thing I tell them every week. You don’t have to drink and do drugs to have a good time.