I came!

I came home from the pub four hours late last night. “Where the f*ck have you been?” screamed my wife.

I said, “I’ve been playing poker with the lads.” “Playing poker with the lads?” she repeated. “Well, you can 
“Playing poker with the lads?” she repeated. “Well, you can pack your bags and go!”
“So can you,” I said. “This isn’t our house anymore!!..