“Daddy, daddy,” cried little Jack, “please come and look, my p**sy cat is lying in the garden with his feet in the air and he won’t move.” Assuming the worst, dad went into the garden to take a look. “I’m sorry, son, I’m afraid Tiddles is dead.” Through his sobs, the little boy asked why the cat’s feet were sticking up in the air.

Quick as a flash, dad replied, “That’s so can grab hold of them and take him up to heaven.” A few days later, dad came home from work to find Jack crying in the garden. “What’s happened, Jack?” he asked. “It’s mummy … “What’s happened, Jack?” he asked. “It’s mummy she nearly died today, like my poor p**sy cat!” “How can that be?” asked dad aghast. “I went into the summer house a little while back and mummy was there with her feet in the air shouting ‘I’m coming, I’m coming!’ Oh daddy, if it hadn’t been for the milkman holding her down, she would have been taken up to heaven.