Forrest Gump died and went to Heaven, and at the gates, he was met by St. Peter. As Forrest approached the gates, he noticed that they were closed. “Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we’ve been administering an entrance examination for everyone,” St. Peter said. “The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.”
“It shor is good to be here, St. Peter, sir,” Forrest responded. “But nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain’t too hard; life was a big enough test as it was.”
St. Peter said, “Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions:
First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God’s first name?”
Forrest left to think about the questions, and he returned the next day to see St. Peter.
“Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers,” St. Peter said.
Forrest told him, “Well, the first one — which two days in the week begin with the letter “T”? Shucks, that one’s easy. That’d be Today and Tomorrow.”
St. Peter looked shocked!
“Forrest, that’s not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn’t specify, so I’ll give you credit for that answer,” he said. “How about the next one? How many seconds in a year?”
“Now that one’s harder,” said Forrest, “but I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve.”
“Twelve? Twelve!?” a stunned St. Peter said. “Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?”
“Shucks, there’s gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd. . .” Forrest said.
“Hold it, ” interrupted St. Peter. “I see where you’re going with this, and I see your point, though that wasn’t quite what I had in mind…..but I’ll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let’s go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God’s first name?”
“Sure,” Forrest replied, “it’s Andy.”
“Andy?!” exclaimed a frustrated St. Peter. “Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?”
“Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,” Forrest replied. “I learnt it from the song. . ‘ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . .’”
St. Peter then opened the gates to Heaven and said, “Run Forrest, run!”